Forgive Me
by half-goddess-Katia
Summary: InuYasha says the wrong thing again. Find out his thoughts as he watches Kagome's reaction.


Forgive Me  
  
AN: Hey all, I just got back from vacation. This along with the two chapters of Probationis Vitae were what I managed to write. I hope you all enjoy them. Read and review.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-Yasha or the song "Forgive Me." Inu-chan is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and all connected companies. "Forgive Me" is owned by Evanescence and all connected companies.  
  
Read and enjoy!  
  
_Can you forgive me again?  
  
I don't know what I said  
  
But I didn't mean to hurt you_  
  
Inu-Yasha watched, silently, as Kagome had tears slowly fall from her eyes. He knew he'd said the completely wrong thing the second she went silent. There was no doubt left in his mind when she started to cry. And it wasn't loud, sobbing tears, or tears when she's screaming. Instead, they were silent tears. No sobbing, no yelling, no sound. If anything, the silent tears hurt worse. Silent tears were used when the pain was too overwhelming, when no words or sounds could covey the depth of the pain.  
  
_I heard the words come out  
  
I felt like I would die  
  
It hurt so much to hurt you_  
  
Kagome had been trying to go home again to take some of those 'tests' she worries about so much. As usual, he just had to put up a fight. He honestly hadn't meant for that to come out. He knew it would hurt her, and he had tried to stop it, but like many times before, his mouth worked without the consent of his mind.  
  
_Then you look at me  
  
You're not shouting anymore  
  
You're silently broken_  
  
She had gone silent when he'd said that. While before she'd been shouting at him, trying to get him to understand what was so important about the tests, she'd gone silent at his comment. He could also tell by the look in her eyes that something was different this time around. Somehow he had hit her hard, and now it seemed like her will was gone. And then the tears came. And they kept coming. They wouldn't stop falling down her face. Almost like rain drops, but only from her.  
  
_I'd give anything now  
  
To hear those words from you_  
  
The silence was now freaking him out. It wasn't normal. Normally if she was crying she was shouting at him. She'd be 'sitting' him. And while he'd be down on the ground, she's jump into the well and go back to her time. And while normally hated the word sit and the fact that she used it, now he'd give anything to hear her say it as long as it meant she was acting more like herself.  
  
_Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."  
  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah._  
  
No matter how many times he does this, she always forgives him. She always comes back to the Feudal Era. She always came back to him. And he knows that she still will for now, but how much longer that will last he doesn't know. One of these days he's going to say the completely wrong thing and drive her away from him forever.  
  
_'Cause you were made for me  
  
Somehow I'll make you see  
  
How happy you make me_  
  
He knew what had hurt her. He had brought up Kikyo again. He had compared her to her past incarnation. He had called her worthless. He had said she was 'just' a 'shard detector.' He loved her, he knew he loved Kagome, but he somehow couldn't help but hurt her. He didn't mean to hurt her as much as he obviously did, but he couldn't be with her. It'd be best if he drove her away from him, because he owed everything to Kikyo. Even though Kagome had taught him how to trust, how to love, he couldn't stay with her. Even though when he was with her, he felt lighter than air, and even though she'd cried for him, he couldn't stay with her. He knew that when the Shikon no Tama was finished, and Naraku was killed, he'd have to follow her to Hell. He knew that and knew it wouldn't be fair to Kagome if he expressed his love to her and then left her.  
  
_I can't live this life  
  
Without you by my side  
  
I need you to survive_  
  
He also couldn't live without her by his side. She had freed him. She trusted him. She loved him. She cried for him. She made him feel like everything would be all right. He trusted her and protected her. He loved her with every fiber of his being. But he was only a half demon, and on top of that he'd already told Kikyo that he'd go to Hell with her. But he needed Kagome near him. He felt stronger when she was next to him. He wasn't sure why, but it was true. Like the one time when he'd forced Kagome through the well, and then blocked it up, he'd been injured and then attacked. He was losing when he'd caught her scent in the wind. He recognized it anywhere. He wasn't sure where it had come from, but he'd had a sudden burst of energy. He'd been able to take out the demon, temporarily, with one blow.  
  
Then, after she'd been attacked by his minions, she'd saved the demon. She removed the Shikon shard that Naraku had imbedded into the demons forehead by means of a plant. And then she stopped him from attacking the other demon. She knew what it had done, but she had seen that it had been forced and stopped him from killing it.  
  
_So stay with me  
  
You look in my eyes  
  
And I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry_  
  
He wanted to say the words, more than anything. He wanted to take away the pain he saw in her eyes. He wanted to love her, to understand her. And all it would take to start to accomplish all of that would be two words. Two words that he'd only ever said to her. He knew that if he said them, that she'd instantly forgive him. The pain in her eyes would, at the very least, lessen even if it didn't disappear. Well, here goes nothing.  
  
"I'm sorry Kagome."  
  
_And you forgive me again  
  
You're my one true friend  
  
And I never meant to hurt you_


End file.
